Mommy's strong girl <3

Life is B-E-A-U-T-Y ful for sure and it had just started for us. Early 2021 we found out that Iyra (my older daughter) was going to be a BIG SISTER, YAY!!. We were so excited and wanted to just make memories, because boy we all know that a second child specially a newborn takes up all the time and energy.

Everything was looking perfect and Iyra loved the time and attention she got from us, we had late night movies, pizza parties and hanging with her friends at the park. With the pandemic we hardly went anywhere, home environment was so much fun, that Iyra never missed going out to the malls or movies.

The only outside exposure she had was going to the daycare, she loved going there and had made so many fun arts and learnt so much. She would come home everyday with great excitement about her daily projects. She loves her friends and teachers. Iyra is one active child, she loves dancing, playing pretend, painting & coloring.

Fast forward to September 2021, it was BABY time, she was in such a rush to hold her little sister. Since, Iyra was going to the daycare we went ahead and scheduled my labor and made sure that Iyra would be taken care at the child care facility so my spouse would be with me while we were having our baby. Both, my husband and I decided that we would somehow manage with the newborn and a toddler ourself because I was off of work for 12 week (these 12 weeks are not really time off). Women really need more time to heal from labor, but guess what we will save this topic for another day.

Afternoon of Sept 21st 2021, we received a call from the daycare center that Iyra was not doing too well and had a fever. I was praying hard it was not COVID-19, turned out my daughter was tested positive for another virus (RSV). With all the restrictions in the hospital I was not allowed to have my sick toddler at the hospital, so my husband had to go home to take care of my older daughter. Late evening that day we had our second daughter (see below). I was scared and worried if I could do this alone without my husband being by my side, but guess what 'I DID IT'. I had my second beautiful princess in my arms, while I still worried about my older daughter.

Things were going so well after labor that I was confident I could do this all by myself. I felt like a super-mom. One afternoon while both girls were taking an afternoon nap- I complained to my husband that my head started to hurt very bad. I took some mediation thinking the pain would subside. After a few hours the pain got worse and I had run to the nearest emergency and guess what, after waiting for many hours and running multiple scans that doctors confirmed that I had to stay back/ inpatient for them to monitor me/my health because I was diagnosed with postpartum preeclampsia :(. I was like, no way.... How will my husband manage both the the girls?? One was just 1 week old and the other one (my toddler) who was tested positive for RSV.

Little did I know that the next morning, we received a news from back home (INDIA) that we lost my father-in-law to COVID. Was this really happening to us? Life was not playing fair with us, not one bit. With all this hardship my OB-GYN let me go home and asked me to monitor my blood pressure. With my health condition like this and having a newborn who was just a week old my husband decided to stayback here in the U.S with us. I was just upset with myself the I had put my husband in such a horrible situation that he could not leave us to do the last rites for his dad.

With so much grief that we were in, we were taking things slow and taking one day at a time. With so much that happened in the past few weeks we finally decided to have my parents over to the USA to help us with the girls. In no time my parents were here and we were so excited to have them over. Iyra and myself went to the airport to receive my parents:). Iyra was so happy to see them and the entire trip from the airport to back home she kept laughing, talking, dancing in the car.

The morning of November 18th 2021, Iyra woke up and had to use the bathroom and what I saw was not pleasing. I was puzzled with what I saw, Iyra had peed BLOOD.. Yes, you read that right. She had peed blood. Stopped all I had for the day and called her pediatrician to see us immediately. The Pediatrician ran a bunch of tests and sent us back home saying it might be a UTI (Urinary tract Infection). This continued for a few days, seeing this was very uncomfortable and something in my mom heart said 'something is not right'. Thought Iyra NEVER complained of any pain I wanted to have her checked so I took her into emergency.

With COVID cases rising high, the wait to be seen by a doctor was getting crazy long now. After waiting for good 5hrs we were finally called to be seen. After explaining my daughters symptoms they wanted to run some tests, bloodwork and scans for Iyra to see what exactly is the root cause for this. I was hoping and praying that we would be sent home, but instead we were asked to stay in the hospital for the night.

On 24th November, 2021 at 8.30am, I called my husband and asked him to come over because, LORD I needed to pump or breastfeed my newborn. I was engorged and started to feel very uncomfortable. Just before I had to leave to go feed my newborn- the doctors came into the room and said, "we need to talk". My heart sank, the room got dark and all of a sudden my vision was a blur. I was praying that this was not going to be something serious. With the scans and bloodwork the hospital ran on Iyra the doctors confirmed that there is an abnormal growth on her left kidney and they think it is CANCER. Listening to the word 'CANCER' everything started to close out on me and I was blank when I heard it. Nothing made sense when the doctor was explaining to us.

I cried, yelled and shouted, this was unfair (not just my child, this is unfair to any child out there who is going through this). The doctors then had to transfer Iyra to John's Hopkins hospital in Baltimore, MD. Luckily, the hospital was not too far from where we live (a blessing I guess?). Upon arrival the JHH team ran more scans and tests and confirmed it is cancer. I held my child in my arms and cried out an apology for what was happening. Held her so tight that words cannot express. I knew that the next few months were going to be tough and I have to be strong for us to get through this.

My husband and I were shattered, we hugged each other and prayed for things to go well and the strength to walk this journey with our child. Considering it was the holiday season (thanksgiving), the team had to do an immediate surgery on Iyra the day after thanksgiving (November 26th, 2021). It was a good 10 hours surgery where the doctors had to remove the entire left kidney along with placing a central line (port) for Iyra.

Hours went by and all I did was prayed for the surgery to be a success. At 5.33pm the surgeon came out to give us an update that the surgery went well and Iyra was moved to the PICU for further observation. Seeing my child in tubes and bandages shook me inside out, all I wanted to do is hold my child and kiss her. I still remember that even with her waking up from anesthesia she held my face and said, "mommy pick me up". The pain was so intense for Iyra that she had to be on pain medication. She was afraid to walk/ move. All she wanted to do was sleep and play in her bed. With the help of PT we were lucky enough to take Iyra home. But, wait..? home?. I was confused, because we had not received the pathology lab results for Iyra's tumor. Majority of the doctors who saw the mass/lump said it would be Wilms Tumor (another very common tumor in kids). I googled about it all day and night. Watched videos and read survivors story on Facebook/YouTube/instagram. Days passed by and I was ok with this being Wilms tumor as it was so common in kids.

Sadly, when the results came, it was NOT Wilms, it was a whole different kind of cancer for Iyra. It is something called as 'Rhabdomyosarcoma' (Sarcoma is cancer of soft tissue (such as muscle), connective tissue (such as tendon or cartilage), or bone. Rhabdomyosarcoma usually begins in muscles that are attached to bones and that help the body move, but it may begin in many places in the body).

Words cannot express what I was going through, the world turned upside down for us. Iyra's tumor was growing in such a rare place (her kidney) that the doctors were confused themselves. There is less than 1% of the population that has this sarcoma in the kidney. The wave of emotions had hit me in a way that crying and begging for the medical team to save my child. I still remember asking the oncology team that--" I am hoping and praying you will not tell me that my child has only this much time to live". They assured that this kind of cancer/tumor is treatable/curable with the right kind of treatment.